


Wander Through the Gardens With Me

by detective_prince



Series: Downpour [6]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Domestic, M/M, light is an anxious boy, matsuda kira verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 16:43:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12868728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detective_prince/pseuds/detective_prince
Summary: Light swears, one way or another, he’s going to get this right.Today’s the day.He’s going to do this.





	Wander Through the Gardens With Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vbnorsr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vbnorsr/gifts).



> Happy birthday, my dearest friend! I hope you enjoy!

Perfect.

It all has to be perfect. 

Light swears, one way or another, he’s going to get this right.

Today’s the day.

He’s going to do this.

With that in mind, he pulls on a dress shirt and some black slacks. His nose wrinkles in distaste. It’s been awhile since he’s dressed up. He can’t say he really likes it anymore, the fabric is far too stiff for his liking. But, he’s convinced himself this is what it takes to be perfect. 

Huh.

He hasn’t thought like this in a while.

Regardless, he goes to the kitchen, but not before devoting a moment or two to watching L sprawled out across the bed sleeping. He smiles softly, leaning against the doorframe. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be capable of finding someone or something more perfect than the man he shares his bed with. He only wishes that he could get L to sleep a little more frequently, Light has been throwing his sleep schedule out of whack in a desperate attempt to spend more time with L. He sighs softly when he leaves, there is work to be done. 

Cooking and baking, unfortunately, aren’t Light’s strongest suits. He can manage it just fine, but they still rely on Watari a little more than he’d like to. Not today, though. He’d  _ promised _ Watari the morning off and now wasn’t the time to back down. So, hopefully, L could do with his adequate efforts.

So, he does what he can. And, he has to say, the strawberry shortcake seems to come along rather nicely. He’s in the middle of frosting it when L stumbles out of their bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. And, perhaps, horror when he sees that Light has been baking. 

L remembers the baking fiasco of ‘09.

He’ll never forget.

“Where’s Watari?” He asks, cautiously.

“Off somewhere,” Light replies. It worries L that he’s avoiding the question. He’s up to  _ something _ . There are times when Light is bad at lying. Many of which are simply due to him talking to L, who knows him inside and out.

“Oh, I’m  _ sure _ .” L sits, or well crouches, at the kitchen table, staring down at the coffee cup. “Did you--?”

Light laughs quietly, “I assure you, I’ve learned how you take your coffee, L.”

“You say that,  _ but _ not once has it been sweet enough.” He picks it up, taking a sip. For once, he’s surprised to see that Light has managed to find the right balance of sugar and coffee.

“I recall once you said it was too sweet.” Light says, throwing him a smile over his shoulder.

Ah. Another disaster L would never allow himself to forget. There was a reason Watari prefered to keep them both  _ far _ away from the kitchen. “Yes, I may enjoy sugar, but I didn’t ask you to dump an olympic sized swimming pool of sugar into my cup.”

“Fair enough.” He sets the cake in front of L, who immediately takes a small slice. L can only pray this won’t be another failed attempt that he pity eats to make Light feel better about his inability to bake.

Thankfully, it’s not bad. Actually, it’s so not terrible that L almost chokes in surprise. Had Light been  _ secretly _ practicing? It seems that Sayu will be getting a phone call later, no one will spill the dirt but her. L is suspicious. What does Light have planned? Is it bad news? It must be. This is clearly an attempt to get on his good side. Light truly is devious to use sweets. A cunning mastermind indeed. 

“I was thinking we could go out today,” Light says after a while, poking at the cake on his own plate. Maybe he should have made himself something with more substance for breakfast. Even if this attempt to make cake hadn’t ended in tragic failure, he doesn’t love sweets nearly as much as L does. And, considering L doesn’t look pained, it’s good enough for him to have the whole thing to himself.

Ah. Well, L was relieved to see Light’s ulterior motive was out in the open now. “Of course. I have… Agent Cortez, I believe, out in the field today. It seems to be a relatively straightforward case thus far, I can pass it off to one of the older Wammy kids for the day if need be.”

Light let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. It felt a bit childish to think that L would put the case before their relationship. They’d been together for years and, unless things were increasingly desperate, L had always allowed time for them to simply be. “Great.”

“Light, are you okay?”

“Hm?” He jolts, sitting rigidly, “Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I was just making sure…” Maybe all this case work is getting to Light. Perhaps a vacation is long overdue. L would talk to Watari about planning one later. It’d be a nice surprise for Light, since he was very much not okay.

Light pokes idly at the cake on his plate, gnawing at his lower lip. “I’d like to go to a garden, if possible.”

“Certainly. Fresh air might do us nicely.” How long had it been since they’d last left the suite? Maybe Light really is just getting stir crazy. L will have to keep this in consideration for the future. Light has never been too cautious about his mental health, it’s one of the few things L really has to keep tabs on for him.

“Wonderful,” Light stands, leaning over to kiss L’s cheek. “I’ll go look into securing a private place?”

“Sounds good,” He replies through a mouthful of cake.

Light ruffles his hair, going to sit in front of his laptop on the couch. He’d booked a place for this day about a month ago, praying for the best. He wants privacy to both protect L’s identity and to keep his nerves steady. He’s scared enough as it is, unsure where the calm, cool, and collected Light Yagami ran off to. Because, certainly, he’s not here.

He gives it a few minutes, but he soon gets off of the computer to shoo L back into their room to put on something a little nicer to go out. It doesn’t work, but L is in a clean set of clothes, at least. That’ll do. He’s not asking for perfection on L’s end, L is perfect as it is. All Light can do is put himself together and pray that he’s enough. He runs a hand through his hair, unsure of the last time he’d been so cripplingly insecure.

Quickly, he pulls himself together, not wanting to cause L too much worry. It’s normal to be anxious over these things, Light tells himself. It’s terrifying, actually. He isn’t sure how L will react. This can go one of two ways, he only hopes that it doesn’t end in disaster. He can’t handle that, not today. 

The drive to the gardens isn’t particularly riveting. Light didn’t expect it to be, it’s quiet, the music is nice, they make small talk or sit in a comfortable silence. It’s spring, the flowers are in bloom, so, it should be beautiful. Which is  _ perfect _ . And how he craves perfection today to make up for his faults. There are so many, no matter how hard he tries to fill the cracks, it’s never quite enough. It will never be enough. Surely most would find it odd, but it was Light who found himself the most insecure in their relationship.

There’s no mask that one can wear to hide from a lover that he spends almost every waking hour with. L knows him inside and out, every sickening flaw, every twisted desire. L isn’t one to think quite so deeply on every miniscule detail. Not one to assume anything short of perfection is worthless.

They walk hand in hand through the gardens, something Light seems to take more interest in, but L never minds providing company. And, well, it’s always nice to ask Light what a flower means and watch him passionately explain flower language. It’s cute. he loves seeing that there’s more Light can throw himself full heartedly into aside from cases. It had been a fight to get Light to admit to his lover for flowers. He’d only found out when Light was irritated on a bad day with a young girl working the counter at a florist shop who’d put together a bouquet that conveyed a meaning he was unhappy with. 

Apparently Light had been ashamed to share… It hurt that Light felt he needed to keep it to himself, but L understood. Light wasn’t raised to share these little things, to engage in interests some would find useless. At least he’s been getting better about it with time. All L wants is for Light to fully open up, to be comfortable with him, and to finally learn to love himself. Each year they take a few steps closer.

Light’s fingertips gently caress the petals of a yellow carnation as he kneels on the ground. Ah, an embodiment of his fears. How sweet of life to foreshadow what’s to happen to him. He sighs softly. He really doesn’t expect anything less than the worst, so… 

“Can we go sit?” He says at last, rising and taking L’s hand again.

L squeezes his hand gently, letting Light pull him along towards the bench in front of the nice fountain in the garden’s center. It’s large, yet simple with a few basins that overflow into one another. But Light likes it all the same. They sit side by side and in an instant, most of the color seems to drain from Light’s face. To say the very least, L is worried, Light’s the type to hide his feelings when they’re out in a public area, so he’s not sure what he can even pull from him.

“Light, is everything okay….?”

“I…” He swallows hard, “We need to talk.”

“... Oh?” L raises his brows, more curious than unnerved by the statement. 

Light nods slowly, “You’ll let me say my part, then you can talk. No interruptions… please…” He seems to fidget in his seat, rubbing his hands together uncomfortably.

“Of course,” L reaches over to squeeze his hand. 

“Thank you..” He goes silent for a few moments, “We’ve been together for a long time.. Seven years, actually… And they’ve been a good seven years. I-- You’ve helped me a lot. I think I’ve started to find myself. And it’s all thanks to you… I don’t know who or where I’d be without you… I don’t think I’d be okay. You’ve made things okay-- No, wrong, you’ve made them better than okay and I just--” He makes a soft noise, almost a sniffle, “I owe so much to you. You make me feel human and I can’t imagine life without you anymore. The idea  _ scares _ me. I don’t even know why you put up with me half the time. I’m so  _ childish _ and  _ petty _ and  _ stupid _ ,” There are certainly tears now and Light wipes them harshly from his face, “I’m worried I’ll never be enough for you, but… Even if you do deserve better, you’re still with me. Still supporting me.”

He feels L’s arms slip around his shoulders as he’s pulled close and he lets out a choked sob.

“Is it my turn yet?” He murmurs softly, kissing Light’s shoulder.

“Can I have another minute…?” Light says softly, clearing his throat.

L nods, resting his head on his shoulder and giving him a gentle squeeze.

“You’re the only equal I’ve ever had. The only one I ever want. You’re the reason I want to get out of bed. The reason I want to live… The reason I’m able to live a fulfilling life,” He makes a soft choked noise, “And you’re so handsome… You have such nice, soft skin and those eyes that draw me in. And, yeah, you’re kind of strange, but I think that only makes you better.” He runs his fingers through L’s hair gently, smiling through the tears streaming down his face, “I just love you so much, L. I don’t-- I can’t live a life where you aren’t here beside me. It’s mortifying.”

With a deep breath, he pushes L away and reaches into his jacket pocket. His trembling hands produce an ornate wooden box from within, small leaves carved onto the sides. He takes a deep breath as he opens it to show L the set of matching gold bands, each with a solitary stone in the middle. “Will you marry me? It-- It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, I just… I want to make it official, even if it’s just signing a paper.”

L licks Light’s tear stained cheek and he laughs in response, licking back. “Light Yagami, you are more than enough for me,” He says softly, cupping Light’s cheeks and forcing him to meet his eyes, “You are my perfect match, my only equal, the only partner I will ever need. As you support me, I will support you through thick and thin. You are what makes each day worth it. I love every last part of you, Light. Each part, flaws and all. Because your flaws are what make you human.” He smiles softly as Light averts his eyes, “These seven years have been the best of my life. And I would do them again, exactly the same, with you by my side.”

Light’s brows furrow, likely because he’d picked out one of his larger mistakes, “... Exactly the same…?”

“ _ Exactly _ the same,” He kisses Light gently, “Each road bump, each awkward conversation, each and  _ every _ one of them. Because I love you and I love the way we work. So, each and every moment is precious.”

Light is crying again, beaming as the waterworks flow, “How did I get someone so perfect?”

“Your best friend at the time of our meeting was a serial killer,” He replied, kissing away the tears, “We should send Matsuda a card to thank him.”

Light laughs, breathless and loud. “Is that a yes then?”

“You’ve known it was a yes from the moment I licked your cheek, don’t play dumb,” L chides playfully, pressing his forehead to Light’s, “If you’d like to get married, I’ll find a way to make it work.”

Light shuts the box, setting it down between them as he pulls L close again, kissing him. It’s gentle and slow and he can get absolutely lost in the softness of his lips. He’s not sure the day can get any nicer as he loses himself in L and the nice gentle touches. Fingers running through his hair, brushing across his cheeks.

They only separate when it starts to drizzle and L stands up, gently pulling Light up to his feet. Together, they wander the garden in the light rain, before heading back to the car. L’s insistent on taking one of their rooftop showers, it’s an urgent request. And, on a day like today, who is Light to say no?


End file.
